Letting go of desires

Originally published October 25, 2025. Part of the Archived Essays & Memos collection.

During my Sunday reflection, I revisited a quote from James Clear I’d captured earlier in the week:

It doesn’t make sense to continue wanting something if you’re not willing to do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to live the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result but not the process is to guarantee disappointment.

— James Clear

Just let that sit with you for a moment.

Take it all in.

Then think long and hard about where you are right now, and whether your behaviour and habits actually match your desires.

Often, our goals and dreams aren’t really ours.

We adopt them because they sound impressive, or because people around us chase them.

For some, it’s easier to borrow a dream than define one.

There’s an even riskier path: the goalless traveller.

Without a clear aim, you drift — and drifting means you’re quietly absorbed into other people’s desires.

It feels harmless in the moment.

It isn’t.

The cost shows up later, when regret asks why you never tried harder.

When I was younger, I lived in that first camp.

I’d say things because they sounded ambitious.

It felt good — a quick dopamine hit.

But that’s where the goal lived and died.

I didn’t want the work; I wanted the feeling.

It’s a brilliant quote, one worth revisiting every six months, or at least before you start declaring things you have no real intention of pursuing.

I'll leave you with this question:

Which desire do you need to release because you won’t live the process it requires?